Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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