Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
