you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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