did you get engaged???
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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