I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize