Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Randomize
