o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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