he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize