so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
