He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
