the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
