Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
