Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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