I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Randomize
