i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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