so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
be right there i have to get my cape
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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