i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
