I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
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