Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
It's rum buckets o'clock
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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