Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
