How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
