I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
