so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I wish you could order shots online.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
