I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
