Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
