So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
