Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
two words...techno handjob
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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