We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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