I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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