did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
