Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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