Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
