ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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