I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
