meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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