Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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