I must be too annoying 4 u.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize