It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
These tits shall not be calmed
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
