Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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