took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
