On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
