just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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