It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
