maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
