I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
