Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
