speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
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