I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
