the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
