Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
