She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
