Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
