Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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