is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
