So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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