he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
