the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
