Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
