fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
