There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
