All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
