some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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