Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
